Stress Management Strategies

Consider the following scale, and then pick a strategy that might work for you and practice, practice, practice.

SUD = Subjective Unit of Distress. How much does ___ bother you, on a scale of 0-10 where 0=not at all and 10=the worst you can imagine?

<none> 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 <your world is ending>

When we’re upset, our brains aren’t working at optimum performance, so we need to have practiced these a lot before we need them. Sort of like a fire drill... They may seem silly, but are very helpful in reducing disturbing feelings. Do these in a safe location where relaxation would not interfere with safety.

*Get Into Nature!* This cannot be stressed enough. Our bodies aren’t meant to be stuffed inside a box all day without fresh air & sunshine. Take a walk. Stand in the sunshine and feel the breeze, sun, temperature. Notice the sounds.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1: Look around you. Name 5 things you can see, 5 things you can hear, 5 things you can feel. Repeat, naming 4 (different) things you can see, hear, feel. Then continue with 3, 2, then, 1 thing you can see, hear & feel. You’ll end up with 15 different things you can see, hear & feel. You might need to use your imagination: what you might be able to see, hear or feel. (hint: feel - fabrics, rocks, clothing, breeze, etc.)

Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Begin by finding a comfortable position sitting, standing, or lying down. You can change positions any time during the progressive muscle relaxation exercises to make yourself more comfortable as needed. The first progressive muscle relaxation exercise is breathing. Breathe in forcefully and deeply, and hold this breath. Hold it...hold it... and now release. Let all the air go out slowly, and release all the tension. Continue to breathe slowly and gently. Allow your breathing to relax you. The next progressive muscle relaxation exercise focuses on relaxing the muscles of your body. Start with the large muscles of your legs. Tighten all the muscles of your legs. Tense the muscles further. Hold onto this tension. Feel how tight and tensed the muscles in your legs are right now. Squeeze the muscles harder, tighter... Continue to hold this tension. Feel the muscles wanting to give up this tension. Hold it for a few moments more.... and now relax. Let all the tension go. Feel the muscles in your legs going limp, loose, and relaxed. Notice how relaxed the muscles feel now. Feel the difference between tension and relaxation. Enjoy the pleasant feeling of relaxation in your legs. Continue to do this with your major muscles: buttocks, back, chest, stomach and arms.

Breathing Shift Bring up a good, happy or positive memory. Try to use whatever affect is most useful. Notice where your breath is starting and put your hand over that location in your body. Let yourself breathe a moment or two and notice how it feels. Now bring up a memory with a low level of disturbance and notice how your breath changes. Put your hand over that location in your body. Now change your hand to the previous location and deliberately change your breathing pattern accordingly. This should cause the disturbance to dissipate.

Earth, Air, Fire, Water: Earth: Take a minute or two to “land” and be here now. Place both feet on the ground and feel the chair supporting you. Look around and notice three new things. What do you see/hear? Air: Breathing for centering/ Diaphragmatic Breathing. You can use your favorite breathing technique here. Another option is to breathe in through your nose as you count 4 seconds, then hold it for two seconds, then breathe out for four seconds. Take about a dozen deep, slow breaths like this. Water: Calm and Controlled to switch on the Relaxation Response – Check to see if you have saliva in your mouth. Make more saliva by moving your tongue around and imagining the taste of a lemon (or chocolate). Fire: Light up the path of your imagination – Bring up the image of your safe place or some other positive resource. Where do you feel it in your body?

Walking Focus: Stand and notice your body, muscles and surroundings. As slow as you possibly can, begin a step, noticing muscles and balance and motion, keeping the movements as very slow as possible. Pay close attention to everything you can as you walk a few steps this way. At the end of a few steps, start a turn and just notice everything you can about it – from how your balance shifts, how your muscles are coordinating, the feeling of turning slowly, etc. You can do this in as little as 3-5 steps, stopping to make a u-turn and going back the other direction. Movement releases positive endorphins & makes you feel better!

Eating Healthy: Really one of the biggest things you can do to feel better is to eat healthy. Eat foods that are whole foods, aren’t processed & don’t contain refined sugars. Plenty of vegetables, some protein and a few fruits or nuts.

Learn to say No: Learning to say “no” takes practice. Taking on additional tasks & responsibilities when you’re already stressed is counterproductive & doesn’t leave you energized to do your best.

Schedule Worry Time: By scheduling time once or twice a week, you can build confidence that you’ll get to those topics and deal with them. Otherwise, they’ll haunt you while you’re trying to sleep or sneak up on you when you’re already agitated. Just a 5-10 minutes every few days can make a huge difference! Some Affirmation Ideas:

1. My #1 responsibility is my own growth and well-being. The more I love myself, the more I can help and love others.

2. I make my own decisions and I also assume the responsibility for any mistakes. However, I refuse to feel shame or guilt about those mistakes.

3. I respect the right of others to have opinions or attitudes different than mine, but I refuse to be put down by those opinions.

4. I am not my actions. I am the actor. My actions may be good or bad, but that doesn't make me good or bad.

5. I do not have to prove myself as a person to anyone. I need only express myself as honestly and effectively as I am capable with the knowledge that there is no way everybody will accept me. I accept me.

Cartoon Character: If someone is a trigger, imagine them, or their voice or attributes of them, to be like cartoon characters. Think caricature & nonthreatening. This way, you’re not accepting their invitation to agitate, anger, worry, or frustrate you!

Sensual Awareness Inventory: On a separate page & under each of the following categories, list 10-20+ (as many as you can) items or activities from which you get pleasure, enjoyment or comfort. Keep these in mind when you need more pleasure, enjoyment or comfort. By focusing on positive, you’re making your brain get into the habit of thinking more positively. SIGHT SOUND SMELL TASTE TOUCH ACTIVITY

Locus of Control: Most people have an External Locus of Control. They believe that what others say and do, and what happens makes them feel the way they do. It makes how they feel depend on events and people they can't control and feeling better depend on those events and people changing for the better, and they may not. People can feel like a victim of their circumstances, with no hope of feeling better. That's never a good thing. Ask your therapist how to start the process of developing an Internal Locus of Control so you can become Proactive instead of Reactive.

Serenity: (helps develop internal locus of control) The “Serenity Prayer” comes from an American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr & has been adopted by AA & other 12-step programs. This wisdom can be a powerful tool in reducing stress in your life whether or not you claim any form of spirituality. Here’s the popular form, and then a more historic form of the plea. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” “Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other.”

Comparison of Textures. Feel the surface of the couch or chair, and describe; or feel your feet on the floor, or key ring or clothing, and describe the differences in textures as if you were describing to a person who can’t see or who has never experienced this object before.

“Simple” arithmetic. Count up or down by 3’s or 4’s, prime numbers, etc. The idea is to create a task that is challenging enough to get your attention, but without being overly frustrating. Variation: (If you don’t already know how to do this) – say the alphabet backwards. This forces your brain to work at a task & you’ll distract yourself.

USING YOUR PERSONAL RESOURCES Friends, family, pets, hobbies, books, significant others… Please see Lisa Weiche, LCSW, LADC for citations & further resources.